I Am a Recovering Perfectionionist
Perfection is a lie
Actual conversation at my house a few years ago between my wife and grandson ‘E’…
Grandma: Sure, glad Grandpa is perky in the morning
E: Grandpa is not perfect!
Grandma: I said Grandpa was perky, so he could play with you.
E: (with even more emphasis) Grandpa is NOT perfect!
‘E’ believed he was defending me, and in a way that he probably doesn't realize he was.
I'm not perfect, and I don't want to be, or at least I don't want to focus on it.
As Anne Lamott said…
“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life, and it is the main obstacle between you and a shitty first draft.
I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won't have to die.
The truth is that you will die anyway and that a lot of people who aren't even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you and have a lot more fun while they're doing it.”
I often say I'm a recovering perfectionist.
Life doesn’t have to be perfect to be wonderful.
Perfection is not possible, though ‘E’ is pretty close.
My journey from perfectionism began by reading The 80/20 Principle by Richard Koch.
Applying the lessons of 80/20 fundamentally changed my life.
In part because it helped me realize my perfectionist tendency and proved to me how little value there was in such an approach.
Very little of what we do brings us the majority of our results. Focusing on those few things is better than trying to make everything perfect.
If you are struggling with making everything perfect or waiting to take action until everything is just right, study the 80/20 principle in depth.
It will make a difference for you.
There are few things of value; focus on those things, grow those things, and make those things better.
And yes, I know I misspelled perfectionist in the title. It is part of my recovery program to let it go. 😉
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Great message David.
I myself is not a fan of perfectionism because I believe that there is always room for improvement. Besides Nobody is perfect except the name Perfecto☺️
I once had a school head, my principal, who always want everything to be perfect and whenever she saw some flaws in our work, she noted them and discussed during the next meeting. I understand her, she just wanted us to produce good results and do our best. She attained her goals but there was a great impact on our mental and physical health.Though for me it was just okay but for my colleagues, they said that they were always on edge and some even had a heart attack that led to their early retirement. I pitied them that's why I vowed to myself that when I become a school head too, I won't do that actions.