Marlow's Musings 2/23/25
Bring all parts of life into agreement
We often chase the myth of perfect balance, dividing our time into neat compartments of work and life, family and self. Yet this pursuit of balance can leave us more fragmented than whole, more exhausted than fulfilled. Perhaps what we truly seek isn't balance at all but something far more meaningful.
Since the nature of our lives is shaped by the language we use, understanding words that illuminate wholeness becomes essential.
That's why exploring Harmony is so vital right now. Instead of struggling to balance competing demands, I invite you to discover how aligning your essence with your actions can create a life that flows like music.
Words of Purpose come alive when spoken, and I encourage you to listen to the audio narration. Now, let's explore another Language of Purpose...
🌱Ikigai is about experiencing your essence and purpose in harmony with whatever you do.
Audio narration by David Marlow
Definition.
harmony: (n)
hahr·muh-nee
agreement; accord; harmonious relations.
a consistent, orderly, or pleasing arrangement of parts; congruity.
The root ‘ar’ in harmony means to fit together. From both Latin and Greek harmonia it means agreement or concord.
Concord further speaks of agreement, union in opinions or sentiment, state of mutuality, friendship, and amiability.
Risk
If we take the musical meaning it is easy to see why harmony is what we should seek.
The dissonance and noise prevalent in our modern lives are the antithesis of harmony, leading to disagreements, disorder, and disturbances instead of beautiful music.
Achieving harmony has become elusive, as the noise of daily life disrupts our peace and prevents the coming together of our lives.
Beyond the noise in our lives, balance distorts our priorities.
While many seek ‘balance’ such as work/life balance it creates a false equivalency.
It implies work is half and ‘life’ is half. It becomes more about time management than living out your true essence.
Life is not meant to be compartmentalized into rigid halves; rather, it should revolve around discovering and living out our purpose in whatever we do.
The focus becomes compartmentalizing ‘you’ into different buckets and boundaries and allocating time.
Opportunity🌀
Embracing harmony means aligning passions with purpose, infusing every moment with profound meaning and joy.
Living in harmony allows us to live out our purpose whether at work, spending time with loved ones, or even grocery shopping.
All aspects of life blend harmoniously, liberating us from rigid schedules, and fostering a seamless flow that nourishes every aspect of our being.
Like a symphony, different parts of life may rise and fall in prominence, each playing its role at the right moment, creating a beautiful and dynamic composition.
Sometimes work may take the lead, and other times, family or personal interests may shine brighter. Ikigai embraces these fluctuations, recognizing that life's melody is a harmonious ensemble of interconnected notes.
Let harmony resonate within, allowing the interplay of different elements to coalesce into a harmonious whole. This leads to a more fulfilling reality where authenticity and purpose unite, creating a symphony of joy that echoes through every note of life.
Story
Hi, I’m Dave, and I’m a recovering perfectiionist.
Many books have had a lasting impact on my life. One such book is The 80/20 Principle by Richard Koch.
Reading it fundamentally changed my life.
In part because it helped me realize my perfectionist tendency and proved to me how little value there was in such an approach.
Very little of what we do brings us the majority of our results. Focusing on those few things is better than trying to make everything perfect.
There are few things of value; focus on those things, grow those things,
and make those things better.
At the time I was trying to manage my marriage, three kids, and a high-flying career.
I was putting 100% effort into everything in each area of my life. It wasn’t working out well.
Instead, I started focusing on the key moments, actions, and experiences and put in extra time on those.
I maniacally removed things from my work life and began taking better care of myself. You have to know if you are giving 100% to your work, home, and family there is little left for taking care of you.
Instead, I learned to harmonize being my true self at work and home.
Imagine experiencing your Ikigai by focusing on those few things that are valuable in life.
Being true to your essence and purpose harmonizes all parts of our lives.
And yes, I know I misspelled perfectionist in the title. It is part of my recovery program to let it go. 😉
Application.
Ikigai is about experiencing your essence and purpose in harmony with whatever you do.
When building practices and habits, choose harmony over content.
🌱 The best book is the one you can’t put down.
🌱 The best fitness activity is the one you relish doing every day.
🌱 The best healthy food is the one you find delicious.
🌱 The best work is work that creates flow, which is most like play.
By aligning things you enjoy with the things you do you find harmony and connect with your Ikigai.
🌀Reflection.
🌱 Reflect on the moments of your life when you’ve had peace? Where all parts of your life were working in accord.
What were you doing?
Who were you with?
🌿 How might you incorporate more moments like these into your day?
🌱 Which areas of your life do you feel the least harmony?
🌿 How might you have fewer moments like these in your day?
🌱 When have you felt like you were enough, that you had the love and acceptance you needed?
🌱 Envision a life of harmony aligned with who you are at the deepest levels.
What small steps can you take today to move closer to this vision and make it a reality?
🌀 Remember: No matter what has come before, today is a fresh start. 🌱
Let’s make things a little bit better. 🌱
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A struggle that so many are taught in or culture : perfectionism.
You’ve probably read it, yet it bears mention: The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, explains beautifully how we are taught to create an external reward system, units of measure that we weigh ourselves against. And it’s a shame really. Those yardsticks (how we measure ourselves) can always be yanked out of whack by a whim. Better to bring the yardstick within ourselves, eh?
I enjoy the word harmony, as I love singing in harmony, yet mostly I lean towards the word “ “congruent”. I attempt to be congruent on the inside and the outside, and not wear a false self to gain anyone’s approval except my own.
David, thank you for that insight. It brings forward the importance of mindfulness in our daily lives, of not allowing the busyness to blind us to our true selves. Yours in Ikigai.