Marlow's Musings: 8/4/24
Three points on the journey to meaning.
Over the past month, I’ve sprinkled in something different in the Musing by sharing one of the Language of Purpose ideas rather than following my regular format.
As I write my book, I’m reviewing the building blocks of Ikigai. In doing so I realize it has been a while since I’ve shared some of these with you.
These deeper explorations of purpose and meaning have generated intense interest and conversation. As a result, I thought I’d share another.
Here, I explain a feeling of deep longing, a yearning for a home, or a sense of belonging that may no longer exist or is lost and how that longing can bring us to our true place of ‘home.’
These are especially powerful messages to listen to, and I encourage you to use the audio narration.
Now I invite you to explore another Language of Purpose…
“And one day I read in him (Meister Eckhart), and he said, ‘There is a place in the soul that neither time nor space nor no created thing can touch.’…
…what it means is that your identity is not equivalent to your biography, and that there is a place in you where you have never been wounded, where there is still a sureness in you, where there’s a seamlessness in you, and where there is a confidence and tranquility in you.
And I think the intention of prayer and spirituality and love is, now and again, to visit that inner kind of sanctuary.”
John O’Donohue
Audio narration by David Marlow
Definition.
hiraeth (n.)
hēre·rīeth
Hiraeth is a sublime Welsh word that doesn’t easily translate into English. It encapsulates a feeling of deep longing, a yearning for a home, or a sense of belonging that may no longer exist or is lost.
It's a nostalgic emotion that goes beyond mere homesickness, reaching into the depths of our hearts, and connecting with a place, a time, or a piece of ourselves that we hold dear, even if it's elusive or no longer accessible.
Derived from hir 'long' the word is roughly equivalent to English 'longing'. In some etymologies, it is hir 'long' + aeth 'pain, grief, sorrow, a longing.
Risk
As children, many of us have an innate sense of our purpose. We harmoniously operate at that unique intersection of who we are and why we are here shared in whatever we do.
As we grow older, life has a way of piling things on top of our purpose. Hardships, disappointments, successes, failures, and even the expectations of well-meaning family and friends all contribute to covering our view of our purpose.
Before long our true essence becomes something obscured and forgotten. We long for it though only the ghost of a distant memory remains.
The longer it remains covered the harder it is to uncover later and the less likely it is we will return to that place of purity and purpose.
Opportunity🌀
There is still that place in you, “where you have never been wounded, where there is still a sureness in you, where there’s a seamlessness in you, and where there is a confidence and tranquility in you.”
That is the invocation of hiraeth. Yearning to answer the three questions…
Who am I? 🌀
Why am I here? 🌀
What should I do? 🌀
Exploring hiraeth offers a remarkable opportunity to answer those questions.
It is a journey of self-discovery, to peel back the layers and uncover our being.
A quest to reawaken the passions and dreams that were once as normal a part of us as breathing.
Story
The air was cold for my run that fall day several years ago. I was visiting family in my childhood home.
The temperature was near freezing, frost covered the ground. As I took off it was apparent the temperature wasn’t the only change from the day before on the trail.
It was as if a signal had been sent for the trees to let go of their leaves. Not the occasional leaf here and there. Entire sycamore trees had released their giant leaves. The trail was covered in piles scattered here and there. I’d forgotten how big sycamore leaves were.
The walnut, maple, and birch trees all joined in making the trail a bit slippery and challenging to run on.
I set out to be present on my run, not letting my mind wander, to as a friend calls it, fall awake.
Nothing like being cold to help focus. I’m not sure how much I fell awake though I was very present soaking in the experience. My mind didn’t wander…much. 😉
I noticed something after my run was complete. Without paying any attention to time I ran my fastest ever 10k or so my watch informed me after the run.
Driving back from the trail I passed the places of my childhood. The home I grew up in, the park I played in all summer, the spot my school stood, long since torn down and replaced by homes.
There was no melancholy seeing these and I have to admit it was the first time home without some.
The thing I noticed on this trip was the level of peace and acceptance of what is, not what was or what could have been. Even conversations with long-time friends centered around the present.
They say that every hero’s journey requires leaving, giving something up, usually home. Mine certainly did. Though I planned to return my journey never led me back. That version of David never returned for good.
As I reflect on this visit, I’m wondering if the person I am today finally did.
Application.
To seize the opportunity hiraeth presents, begin with these simple practices:
Create Space: Make room for quiet reflection in your life. Give yourself permission to silence the noise that has clouded your sense of purpose.
Reconnect: Dive into your memories, rekindle the interests and dreams you held as a child. Reflect on your achievement stories and rediscover activities that truly light up your soul.
Share Your Gifts: As you share your unique gifts with the world, even in small ways, you begin to remove the debris covering your Ikigai. This could be through your work, relationships, artistic endeavors, or simply by being a positive presence in the lives of others.
As you explore the richness that is the real you, the layers will come off one by one revealing your hiraeth, the person you are longing to see…the real you.
🌀Reflection.
Here are five questions to help you answer the invitation to hiraeth.
What is one small thing I can do today to create space in my life to listen to the gentle call of hiraeth?
What childhood passions, dreams, and achievements have I buried beneath the weight of life's disappointments?
What is one small thing can I do to rekindle them?
What specific steps can I take today to align myself more closely with the opportunities hiraeth offers for rediscovering and living out my true Ikigai?
What support or resources, such as reflection journals, self-help books, or communities, can I seek to aid me on this journey of embracing the opportunity hiraeth brings?
🌀 Remember: No matter what has come before, today is a fresh start. 🌱
Let’s make things a little bit better. 🌱
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This reminds me of the word "Liget", from the llongot tribe in the Philippines.
A high voltage emotion of grief, longing, missing the living, disconnected, heartache, and at the sane time a call to action, anger, sadness, do anything to make it right.
I wonder if we sense, on some level, that place "where we have never been wounded" is deep in there, and we feel a type of grief over continuing to be separated from it. Even when we manage to uncover it, we may not be permitted to express it in a way that has any external impact. The proverbial tree falling in a forest.
That Ian Keefe house is amazing, BTW
Excellent topic and support notes David! Learn from the past as foundational insights to how we got to where we are and live in the present as that is truly the only control we may have and even that to a point. What comes to mind is a quote >“No person ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and they are not the same person.”― Heraclitus