The Forbidden Words

Changing our words changes our lives.

My consulting work involves leading people through change and improvement.

Whenever I kick off an improvement event with people new to Continuous Improvement, I share behaviors that will help make their efforts more successful.

One of the actions I recommend is adjusting vocabulary to eliminate the Forbidden Words.

Can’t, Always, Never, Have to, Should

We can’t do it that way.

We’ve always done it that way.

We’ve never done it that way.

We have to do it that way.

We should do X.

In Life and Business

The approach to driving change in our lives is much the same as in business. Our words impact how we frame our problems, opportunities, and actions.

Eliminating words like ‘Can’t, Always, Never, Have to, Should’ free us from the restrictions they place in our minds.

Only recently, I’ve added the word Should to the list.

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It seems anytime the word Should enters our thoughts it’s related to guilt, expectations, or social conditioning.

When we do something because we Should it often means we don't want to do it.

I Should clean up the garage. I Should start working out.

It can also express unmet expectations, and we know where that can lead.

They Should treat me better. I Should have gotten that promotion.

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Reflection:

In the upcoming week, notice when you use the Forbidden Words. Look for times when you say things like…

I can’t do X.

I have to do X.

I’ve never done X before.

It always ends up the same.

I should do X.

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Once you are aware, begin to remove these words from your vocabulary and replace them with affirmative words or phrases.

‘Not yet’ is one of my favorite replacements.

Give it a try.