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Seeing this as 'for' me rather than 'to' me.
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
Today, I’m sharing a simple reflection technique, the Two Questions (TQ).
In a TQ, you ponder two questions each day for a week. You then reflect and or journal what comes to you each day.
For your TQ this week, when things don’t go the way you’d hoped, I want you to approach them as something ‘for’ you rather than something happening ‘to’ you.
Spend the next week pondering these two simple questions each day.
1. What was my biggest test (trial, challenge, disappointment) today?
2. What lesson(s) am I supposed to learn from this?
Reflect on your answers, write them down, and internalize the lesson. Then commit to acting on what you learned.
Here’s an example from a few years ago in my own life.
I’m driving home from work, and traffic is terrible. There has been a wreck, and several lanes are blocked. My typical 45-minute drive home will now be 90 minutes.
Q: What was my biggest test (trial, challenge, disappointment) today?
Answer: Getting stuck in traffic, delaying my trip home.
Framing this as something happening for me rather than to me allows me to ponder the second question.
Q: What lesson(s) am I supposed to learn from this?
My reflection: I get impatient in traffic in general and especially when there are unexpected slowdowns.
This situation provides an opportunity for me to learn to be more patient in situations I can’t control.
Part of my challenge, I feel like I’m wasting time. I look for ways to use the time more effectively in the future, like listening to audiobooks, praying, doing breathwork, and relaxing.
Further reflection reveals I don’t like a long commute at all. This indicates a need to reevaluate whether this is the right job situation for me.
🌀Following this reflection I made a number of changes including, altering the time of my commute, adding audiobooks, ultimately changing my job entirely, and working from home.
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