That's a marvelous question. In the book Burgis points out that many times we 'think' we want something when in reality we are mimicking others or being driven to want by societal pressures.
I'd say in the sense of creativity I used to want to learn to play the guitar. I never really did. It looked like fun and friends of mine were doing it. I wanted the attention given to someone who played the guitar.
I even asked for got one for Christmas as a kid. I never worked to play the guitar.
Compare that to writing. I've written most of my life. Rarely for publication though even then it was driven out of a 'thick' desire as the author calls it. A creative drive to share and express ideas.
To address your question, I'd say it is in there for sure. The challenge is to decide if it is a thin desire like my guitar or a thick desire like my writing.
As in "What do I want?" "What do you want?" "What does anyone want?" I've been interested in this topic for some time now. In my experience (and I've asked every executive candidate I've interviewed in the last 30 years), most people just don't really know.
Is it that hard for people to know what they want? What stands in their way? Do they lack the skills? Lack imagination? Lack process, methodology? Probably not so much for selecting vanilla vs chocolate ice cream, but infinitely more complex when it comes to "What do I want to do with the rest of my life?"
So my question is, how would a person actually figure this out? Get beyond the things people think they want, as you point out. Or is there more to it than "figuring out?"
There in lies the problem. It seems with mimetic desires we 'know' what we want though it is so automatic and disconnected from our own decision process that we can't explain it. For those non-mimetic desires, I can't tell you how many clients have come to me wanting their lives to be different but when asked what they do want they can't answer specifically.
It takes effort to uncover what the real desire is at the heart. i do this all the time in my coaching.
For example, someone wants lots of money. What they really want is a home with certain amenities and enough in the bank that they don't have to work paycheck to paycheck. THAT'S a want we can work with. Millions of dollars is both harder and less likely since it isn't the genuine 'want.'
It starts with going deeper into the outcomes you are looking for. I'll give a personal example. I dreamt of taking my entire family, kids and grand kids on vacation. Initially i thought I'd have to own a second home which seemed prohibitively expensive. When I dug deeper I wanted to experience new things with them in a relaxed setting. That can be accomplished many ways.
Last fall we shared a condo in California with my daughter, son-in-law and youngest granddaughter. We played in the ocean and saw the sights. It wasn't expensive at all and fulfilled my dream.
So glad you shared your question and provided a thought spark!
Hi...Where does the need to express your thoughts , need to connect with people who can help you grow comes in this hierarchy ?
That's a marvelous question. In the book Burgis points out that many times we 'think' we want something when in reality we are mimicking others or being driven to want by societal pressures.
I'd say in the sense of creativity I used to want to learn to play the guitar. I never really did. It looked like fun and friends of mine were doing it. I wanted the attention given to someone who played the guitar.
I even asked for got one for Christmas as a kid. I never worked to play the guitar.
Compare that to writing. I've written most of my life. Rarely for publication though even then it was driven out of a 'thick' desire as the author calls it. A creative drive to share and express ideas.
To address your question, I'd say it is in there for sure. The challenge is to decide if it is a thin desire like my guitar or a thick desire like my writing.
So glad you asked!
Wanting.
As in "What do I want?" "What do you want?" "What does anyone want?" I've been interested in this topic for some time now. In my experience (and I've asked every executive candidate I've interviewed in the last 30 years), most people just don't really know.
Is it that hard for people to know what they want? What stands in their way? Do they lack the skills? Lack imagination? Lack process, methodology? Probably not so much for selecting vanilla vs chocolate ice cream, but infinitely more complex when it comes to "What do I want to do with the rest of my life?"
So my question is, how would a person actually figure this out? Get beyond the things people think they want, as you point out. Or is there more to it than "figuring out?"
There in lies the problem. It seems with mimetic desires we 'know' what we want though it is so automatic and disconnected from our own decision process that we can't explain it. For those non-mimetic desires, I can't tell you how many clients have come to me wanting their lives to be different but when asked what they do want they can't answer specifically.
It takes effort to uncover what the real desire is at the heart. i do this all the time in my coaching.
For example, someone wants lots of money. What they really want is a home with certain amenities and enough in the bank that they don't have to work paycheck to paycheck. THAT'S a want we can work with. Millions of dollars is both harder and less likely since it isn't the genuine 'want.'
It starts with going deeper into the outcomes you are looking for. I'll give a personal example. I dreamt of taking my entire family, kids and grand kids on vacation. Initially i thought I'd have to own a second home which seemed prohibitively expensive. When I dug deeper I wanted to experience new things with them in a relaxed setting. That can be accomplished many ways.
Last fall we shared a condo in California with my daughter, son-in-law and youngest granddaughter. We played in the ocean and saw the sights. It wasn't expensive at all and fulfilled my dream.
So glad you shared your question and provided a thought spark!
Thank you so much for this answer. This is something I need to reflect on.
You're most welcome. I appreciate the chance to explore the ideas together.