Photo by Samuel Ferrara on Unsplash
How do I ‘find’ my purpose?
It is the question I am asked the most.
You don’t find your purpose, it is already there, deep inside. You uncover your purpose.
But what is ‘purpose?’
Let’s start with what it is not.
Your purpose is not your profession or any of the things you ‘do.’ Those are expressions of your purpose.
audio narration by David Marlow
Definition.
Ikigai is experiencing your essence and purpose in harmony with everything you do.
It's not a thing or an event or a career.
It's you living out who you were created to be in everything you do and experience.
The origin of ‘purpose’ gives us some clues as to the deeper understanding of the word.
The 13th Century Anglo-French word for purpose meant with intention, proper function for which something exists.
The meaning transitions in the 14 century to design with intention.
The definition of destiny as in the old French destinée was connected to purpose.
If you want to get a good argument going link purpose to some level of pre-destination. 😉
Stay with me though as the exploration will be worth it.
A root of destiny is destinare which means to make firm, establish.
Stinare on its own is associated with obstinance which connects with being resolved, determined, and resolute.
The old idea of purpose/destiny is different than how people think about it today.
One did not decide their purpose. Rather their purpose decided them or IS them.
Destiny/purpose was firm, resolve, and determination of who people were meant to be at their deepest levels.
Not the things you’ll do, rather who you are firmly established and rooted in the creation that is you.
Disintegration. 💀
Simon Sinek is Wrong 😉
Many people tell me they’ve found their purpose and then proceed to share their Simon Sinek definition of ‘why.’
Perfectly fine things like their jobs, their family, a charity.
The difference is your purpose is much deeper than your career or even your family.
Your ‘WHY’ in that sense is an expression of your purpose, a tactical way to live it out.
Here’s the reason purpose is deeper than ‘why’…
Millions of people can have the same why.
Your purpose is unique to you. It is your ‘destiny’ in the sense of who you were designed to be.
Your purpose is big enough for a lifetime of activities.
Integration. 🌀
Purpose is for a lifetime.
Someone a while back shared their ‘purpose’ as…
“I want to be a good parent and raise happy kids.”
That’s a perfectly fine goal or ‘why.’
It’s a bad purpose statement.
What happens when the kids are grown?
How is that covering a lifetime of activities?
You can’t control someone else’s happiness.
What does being a ‘good’ parent mean versus a bad parent?
There’s more and you get the idea.
Anecdote. 📌
When my corporate career came to an unexpected end I was firmly rooted in my purpose. I understood what activities supported it and which ones didn’t.
When my company eliminated my job they offered me another one.
It was a perfectly fine job and it had nothing whatsoever to do with my purpose. It would have been a soul-crushing five years trying to do that job.
When we try to 'balance' rather than live in harmony with our essence and purpose; eventually, we start to disintegrate.1
I would have been disintegrating for five years.
My peer who had worked at the company his entire career was lost. He linked his identity to his career.
“Dave, I don’t even know who I am anymore,” he shared with me days after being let go from the only company he’d ever worked for.
I’ve had many careers and only one purpose. Thankfully when my corporate career ended my identity was aligned with my purpose and not my job.
Application.
Jobs come and go. People, even those close to us can leave or change. Our ‘whys’ change frequently.
Our purpose is permanent. It is who we are and who we have always been destined to be. Ourselves.
🌀What small step could you take today to uncover that deeper part of you?
🌀 What does it mean to be ‘destined’ in the sense of being made a certain way, a unique creation?
🌀 What changes about your career when you think in terms of purpose over profession?
Remember: Every day is a fresh start. 🌱
Let’s make things just a little bit better today. 🌱
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So good David and one of you most deepest reflection on purpose (not goals or the why). Of course we agree on ones essence and purpose being aligned within our harmonic state although I take the next steps as humans we can also agree we are fallible, fallible, fallible (To err is human we know the rest) and need some help! We may want to take the next important link and connection and for many including me it is to align my purpose, essence and that harmony to a Divine Being to be in true harmony. To clarify this somewhat perhaps let's talk about > Acoustic resonance: a phenomenon in which an acoustic system amplifies sound waves whose frequency matches one of its own natural frequencies of vibration (its resonance frequencies) or to a point "The idea of The Force" in Star Wars ;) Take those and think about Spiritual Resonance not with another creature, tangible instrument or movie plot lines, but with the Divine and only One Triune God. That is a journey only the brave of heart are willing to take! Buckle up if you truly want literally and figuratively the Ride of your Life :) Free Will > Divine Will = True Joy and Harmony
Fantastic perspectives, David. Very thought-provoking. A couple of questions...
You provided some good examples of things that purpose is not. That leaves me wanting for descriptive examples of what an individual purpose might be.
If uncovered and evolved over time, can my (yours, or anyone's...) purpose be described in words?
If so, might you be able to provide a hypothetical example or two of what an individual's unique purpose statement could look like?
I fully appreciate the distinctive nature of Purpose your post lays out. Interested in examples that clarify the contrast to one's job, career, vocation, etc.