Marlow's Musings 1/07/24
Insights, adventures and fun stuff from this week.
Audio narration by David Marlow
A surprisingly significant portion of my childhood involved avoiding disaster. My maternal grandmother was full of dire warnings for my little brother and me. Don't take a bath during a thunderstorm or swim for thirty minutes after eating.
Both of which I did as a child, so it would have served me right if disaster had befallen me as clearly, I had been warned.
One of her warnings I did heed kept me out of ponds and creeks for much of my childhood.
"If a snapping turtle bites you, it won't let go until it hears thunder."
I'd imagine one of those monsters of the deep grabbing my big toe and holding on for dear life for weeks. There was never a thunderstorm when you needed one unless you are taking a bath.
My friend Bruce got one to bite on a stick in the pond at Deming Park. It never did let go, even when he held the stick in the air for what seemed like hours. Looking back and knowing Bruce, he didn't have the patience for more than a few minutes, but it was long enough to convince me my grandmother's old wives' tale had some validity.
Sometimes ideas grab hold of me like a snapping turtle and won’t let go.
Earlier this week I read an excerpt from the book Listen that posited society regards parenting with the economic status of a hobby.
Think about that for a minute. It is true, we as a society reward everything except being a good parent.
In my interview with Author James Breakwell, he mentioned that he was “rocking it as a dad.” He derived satisfaction from being a good dad over his writing success.
He also mentions he had a ‘day job’ in addition to his writing. His job had little or nothing to do with his writing or other passions. It pays the bills and enables him to do all the other things he enjoys.
He also shared his secret to balancing having a successful marriage, rocking at being the dad of four daughters under the age of 13, raising two pigs, working a day job and still having time for his art.
He said, “Yeah, and I've kind of got a new standard for what I keep in my life and what I get rid of. And it's just, do I watch the clock when I'm doing it?
Do I watch the clock when I’m doing it?
Many people come to me wanting support in finding their perfect Ikigai career. In so many ways, they are missing the point.
Our marriages, kids, relationships, and art… are our Ikigai. Those are seen by society economically as hobbies.
Careers come and go. Trust me, I’ve delivered massive success for companies to the tune of hundreds of millions of dollars and still been shown the door.
This week, my grandchildren came running and jumped into my arms when they saw me.
Don’t expect a beautiful summation here. This is a musing, so the idea isn’t complete. I only know that this turtle has a hold of something, and there isn’t a thunderstorm in sight.
Word of the Week
Quest (n & v)
/kwest/
1: an act or instance of inquiry or seeking
2: a heroic or adventurous journey
A search for something (12c., Modern French quête), the act of seeking, and directly from Medieval Latin questa, search, inquiry, the medieval romance sense of ‘adventure undertaken by a knight.’
In case you missed it…
On Linkedin, I riffed on a topic I feel strongly about.
It seems we've reached Peak Purpose. You know, like Peak Oil or Peak IPA beer. I mean, there are only so many hops you can put into a beer, right?
Robert Greene of 48 Laws of Power fame is now writing on ‘purpose.’ We've reached peak purpose when people like Robert Greene start writing on purpose.
This generated many comments, including a string on Stephen King writing a horror story about purpose. I may be ‘writing’ such a story for a post next week.
You can read the entire article here.
Earlier this week’s Ikigai Thought for Today was on Dream Big, Start Small—stories on the power of starting small.
Ikiquest+
This week’s Coffee Contemplation is an audio exploration of starting off the new year 'be'ing instead of doing. I discuss the trap of productivity and efficiency and give alternatives that will lead to a happier and, ironically, more productive life.
You can check that out here, and if you aren’t a plus subscriber, take advantage of a free trial and check out the whole story.
Quote I’m Pondering
Six years ago this week, we lost Captain John Young, the 9th man on the Moon. I’ve been pondering something he said before flying into space.
"Anyone who sits on top of the largest hydrogen-oxygen-filled system in the world knowing they're going to light the bottom and doesn't get a little worried does not fully understand the situation."
Emphasis is mine. Those guys were crazy brave.
Interesting Thing I Saw This Week
According to the Institute of Museum and Library Services, a US federal agency, there are 30,000 museums and related organizations nationwide.
It is staggering for the sheer number and that our tax dollars pay for such an agency.
The Pittsburgh-based artist Jon Rubin decided to have some fun with a project entitled The National Museum, which explores “the pervasiveness of museums across the country, the narratives they present and those they exclude.”1
Staged on the front of an abandoned storefront in downtown Pittsburgh is a sign that reads “National Museum of (fill in the blank).”
Every month, Rubin invites an artist to rename the space using the template.
This month, it reads…
National Museum of Nostalgia for the Very Moment You are Living
The storefront has been vacant for eight years, so who knows how long this experiment in art and social commentary will go on.
If you were invited to provide a caption, what would yours say?
Final Thoughts
More than a few of you have asked why I end the musing with Quest well. Here is the story…
“Quest well,’ my friend Hal encouraged me. There’s something about the idea of a quest that conjures up visions of exploration, heroism, and adventure.
“What do you mean to quest well?” I asked.
He pointed me to an interview with the now-late Elie Wiesel, where he shared this insight.
In the word question, there is a beautiful word - quest. I love that word. We are all partners in a quest…The essential questions have no answers. You are my question, and I am yours - and then there is dialogue. The moment we have answers, there is no dialogue. Questions unite people…Elie Wiesel
You are my question, and I am yours.
Getting to know the miracle of ourselves and each other is the adventure of a lifetime.
We ARE the quest.
Quest well
https://www.theartnewspaper.com/2023/12/11/new-national-museum-of-fill-in-the-blank-invites-contemplation-on-the-role-and-pervasiveness-of-us-museums
"This week, my grandchildren came running and jumped into my arms when they saw me." And not another word is needed.
During the time of Augustus in the first days of the Roman Empire, a large number of the old patrician families that had produced generations of senators disappeared because they consciously did not procreate. Why? Because their lavish lifestyles had made having children pointless. They lived in such luxury that kids were seen as a stopper to that, something that got in the way. The same is happening now, only the "luxury life" consists of social media, phones, netflix, concerts, cheap flights, celebrity worship, this whole culture of fast-food entertainment, communication, creativity, emotion, and relationships.
All these things seem more important and interesting than having kids. They are something that needs to be "sacrificed". This is the great lie that has found its way to the public mind: that your life stops when children come into it. It doesn't. There's less of it, sure, but you can plan and enjoy it infinitely more than before, while still being a perfect parent to your kids, i.e. without sacrificing their development. But in a culture of excess, this can hardly become trendy. Having kids is hard. Especially if you want to do it the right way. It just doesn't align with the ways of a society that instinctively chooses the shortest path from point A to point B, even though the path is barren and your destination, when you finally arrive to it, offers nothing of value -- no view, no treasure, no knowledge. The pointless road just keeps winding to the next empty place.
And there it goes -- what was supposed to be 55 words has turned into half a page. Sorry for the ramblings, David.
Having children is a hobby that’s going out of style. We have done so poorly at rewarding parents that so many people don’t want to take on the responsibility and inconvenience. My adult children will likely never have kids. It looks so unrewarding to them.