Marlow's Musings 12/29/24
Insights, adventures and fun stuff from this week.
Audio narration by David Marlow
“It might be too tall,” I muttered sizing up the spruce. “Let’s do it, I’m sure it will work out.”
Last Christmas our prelit tree quit ‘lighting’ in the middle. Of the tree and the holiday season. I changed the fuses getting it to work again for a few days before it gave out for good. We limped along with lights at only the top and bottom until Christmas was over and rather than trying to ‘fix’ it further decided to buy a new one before next Christmas.
Right around Thanksgiving this year Alicia and I were in Costco. We walked by the aisle with the Christmas trees. Spotting one that was easily 12 feet tall we pondered how big a house one would need to fit such a tree.
Then something else hit us at the precise same moment. “We don’t have a tree!”
All of the trees at Costco were beautiful and expensive and at least 7 1/2 feet tall. Our home is a mid-sized 70’s ranch with 8-foot ceilings. We’ve had a six-foot tree for many years.
Unfortunately, any of the 6-foot trees we saw looked awful. We spotted one that was perfect. Lots of lights, a good price, and surprisingly realistic looking. The only problem was it was 7 1/2 feet. I looked at the top and figured the branches were pliable enough for the angel.
We’ve had the same angel tree topper forever and whatever tree we purchased had to support it. As I stood there contemplating how to make it work, my mind drifted back to our first Christmas tree as newlyweds. An open-box bargain with a sturdy twisted steel trunk.
There was a slight bend at the top, perhaps the reason it was returned. In my eagerness to straighten that bend, I discovered too late that while the trunk was metal, the topper attachment was plastic.
Crack.
Though I managed to fix it, and that tree served us faithfully for decades, its more pronounced slight tilt became a beloved family joke. Visitors would often mistake it for a real tree, thanks to that imperfect angle that artificial trees rarely have. “It looks more natural that way,” became our standard response, usually accompanied by knowing smiles.
Here I was again, engineering a solution for our new tree’s angel rather than an angle problem. After some careful maneuvering and perhaps a few nervous moments reminiscent of that first tree adventure, I managed to secure our longtime angel at the top with half an inch to spare.
The grandkids marveled at the solution, too young to know about their grandfather’s history with Christmas tree “modifications.”
As they decorated, blending cherished ornaments with their handmade ones, I was reminded of Linus’s words about Charlie Brown’s tree: “I never thought it was such a bad little big tree. It’s not bad at all, really. Maybe it just needs a little love.”
Word of the Week
Darshan (n.)
/ˈdɑrʃən/
1: The sacred moment of seeing and being truly seen
2: The privilege of witnessing another's essence and having them witness yours
From Sanskrit dṛś (to see/perceive), Darshan sometimes describes the act of beholding a deity. Yet its most powerful meaning centers around recognizing the sacred essence within each person we meet. Beyond casual observation or friendly chat, it captures those moments when we witness the extraordinary in what others might see as ordinary.
Living our Ikigai - expressing our essence and purpose in harmony with whatever we do - awakens through Darshan moments. When someone truly sees our essence, something powerful ignites within us. In being witnessed, we access our deepest truth and find the courage to live from it fully.
When we witness others with this same presence, we create sacred space for their essence to emerge. This dual gift of Darshan transforms both the seer and the seen. In recognizing another's true nature, we help unleash their power to live Ikigai, just as others do for us.
In case you missed it…
This week’s Ikigai Thought for Today…Do the Things Dummy
Fourteen years ago, life changes – including losing a friend to suicide – prompted me to start doing the things I’d always talked about but never did. I didn’t realize then that this was an Ikigai approach to life if ever there was one.
Here is the story of how I ended up in Jeff Dunham’s Christmas Special and enjoyed one of the most magical ‘things’ I’ve ever done.
Ikiquest+
This week’s Coffee Contemplations…Two Questions
In the final of this three-part series of Coffee Contemplations, I share the deceptively simple yet life-changing reflection of The Two Questions or TQ. I’m particularly excited to share this at year’s end to supercharge the start of 2025 for you.
Ikiquest+ subscribers can listen to it in audio narration or read the transcription.
If you aren’t yet an Ikiquest+ Subscriber, give it a try for free by clicking the box here.
Side note, all free subscribers to the newsletter will be receiving this Three-Part Series in email over the next three weeks as my gift to start the new year.
Interesting Thing I Saw This Week
For over a decade, Tom Whitwell has maintained a distinctive year-end tradition that exemplifies the essence of Ikigai.
Each December, he meticulously documents 52 things he learned throughout the year—capturing insights that range from technological innovations to social trends, from business patterns to cultural shifts.
Whitwell's annual compilation is particularly compelling because it demonstrates the intersection of personal curiosity with professional purpose.
His background spans journalism, hardware design, and consulting, yet the consistent thread has been his commitment to documenting and sharing insights that illuminate our changing world.
This alignment between observation and sharing perfectly illustrates how one's essence can harmonize with their professional endeavors—a core principle of Ikigai.
Comment of the Week:
Again this week, many wonderful comments. This one from Cristina was prompted by my article pondering the paradox of profundity and puns. Here’s what she shared…
Reading your posts feels like a conversation with an old friend. A go-to even when I have nothing to say, but rather to be and feel understood. It's good to have you here.
Can’t imagine a nicer thing she could’ve said.
Quote I’m Pondering
This thought is from David Whyte1 and aligns nicely with what Cristina said…
“But no matter the medicinal virtues of being a true friend or sustaining a long close relationship with another, the ultimate touchstone of friendship is not improvement, neither of the other nor of the self, the ultimate touchstone is witness, the privilege of having been seen by someone and the equal privilege of being granted the sight of the essence of another, to have walked with them and to have believed in them, and sometimes just to have accompanied them for however brief a span, on a journey impossible to accomplish alone.”
Final Thoughts
This week my mind has drifted from the profound to the sublime, bringing forth a realization. Deep within each of us lies a place that has not suffered or endured the pain of rejection or disappointment. Here, the sacred part of each of us waits to be uncovered.
To bless someone is to connect with them, to reach them, and to recognize that no one is entirely alone. Sharing our humanity with other humans while acknowledging a greater good and a deeper part of ourselves helps bridge the gap and close the space between us.
Perhaps more than connection, it's about communion, one with another.
Quest Well.
Darshan is a new word for me (thank you!). I was taught “namaste” had a similar meaning—the divine (or light) in me recognizes the divine (or light) in you.
So to you David I say nameste!