I had another thought about this super post, David. I think that it’s healthy to periodically review any labels we attach to ourselves. I had one client who repeatedly called herself a “survivor” and she wasn’t using that label in a healthy sense.. she was using it to gain attention. One day when she called herself that again, I asked who she might be without that label.
She wasn’t using super amazed at all the great things she could refer to herself as. We had quite a bit of fun coming up with titles…. The Queen of Organization, the Pursuer of Dreams, the Indefatigable experimenting Chef…
This one is powerful Dave! I have a female friend who lives nearby, and she attained you’re an amount of ‘stardom’ when she was younger…and then again in her middle age by creating a successful business. the problem (as I listen to her) is her need to continue to use it as part of her identity, despite having retired now. She has it listed in her dating profile on Match… 🫣. She says she is ok not “being” that any more (a CEO/ president), but it sounds more like she has to continue to put that forward in order to impress someone (?). I’m not sure.
I have had so many jobs in my life, and I think I was pretty good at all of them. But, like you, I don’t define myself by what I do for income. I define myself by the my character traits more than career successes.
I’ve considered asking my friend if she would make a list of all her awards and successes and then delete them from her description of who she is…… but I don’t think that would go over very well. She’s much too tied up in the business she founded to let go, despite having moved beyond that recently.
All this to say, I understand this essay, and identify so much closer to where you are.
Hanging on to the past is the easiest way to not move forward. No matter how much you want to. I know so many people stuck in that position. In fact, I’m sending this to a friend who needs to read it. Thanks always!
The word “quondam” - well played, David. Former things are passed away. Behold, I make all things new.
And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. Revelation 21:4
I had another thought about this super post, David. I think that it’s healthy to periodically review any labels we attach to ourselves. I had one client who repeatedly called herself a “survivor” and she wasn’t using that label in a healthy sense.. she was using it to gain attention. One day when she called herself that again, I asked who she might be without that label.
She wasn’t using super amazed at all the great things she could refer to herself as. We had quite a bit of fun coming up with titles…. The Queen of Organization, the Pursuer of Dreams, the Indefatigable experimenting Chef…
This one is powerful Dave! I have a female friend who lives nearby, and she attained you’re an amount of ‘stardom’ when she was younger…and then again in her middle age by creating a successful business. the problem (as I listen to her) is her need to continue to use it as part of her identity, despite having retired now. She has it listed in her dating profile on Match… 🫣. She says she is ok not “being” that any more (a CEO/ president), but it sounds more like she has to continue to put that forward in order to impress someone (?). I’m not sure.
I have had so many jobs in my life, and I think I was pretty good at all of them. But, like you, I don’t define myself by what I do for income. I define myself by the my character traits more than career successes.
I’ve considered asking my friend if she would make a list of all her awards and successes and then delete them from her description of who she is…… but I don’t think that would go over very well. She’s much too tied up in the business she founded to let go, despite having moved beyond that recently.
All this to say, I understand this essay, and identify so much closer to where you are.
Hanging on to the past is the easiest way to not move forward. No matter how much you want to. I know so many people stuck in that position. In fact, I’m sending this to a friend who needs to read it. Thanks always!
You're a good friend Arnaly for thinking of them. I hope it speaks to your friend.
Me too! 😊
The word “quondam” - well played, David. Former things are passed away. Behold, I make all things new.
And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. Revelation 21:4
Then verses 5-8…
...for the old order of things has passed away.” Then all things will be made new. 🙏🏻