Marlow's Musings 9/17/23
Insights, adventures and fun stuff from this week.
Audio narration by David Marlow
Last night’s dinner included pork potstickers; more on that in a moment.
The final stop in my three-decades-long corporate career was at one of the most storied and historic companies in America.
Nearly 170 years old, this company has paid life insurance claims for victims of the Titanic sinking and 9/11. It was also the owner of the ill-fated ship Edmund Fitzgerald, from the Gordon Lightfoot song by the same name.1
Yet whenever someone found out that I worked for this company, the first thing they asked me was…
“Is it true they have free lunch?”
Seriously. That’s what they would ask, and yes, in fact, we did have free lunch.
At this point, some of you are waiting for me to say it wasn’t really that big a deal and dismiss it.
Nope, it was a big deal. The lunch was fabulous and, in many ways, defined the culture of the company. Lunches were an integral part of how people connected, networked, negotiated, and generally got things done.
During my first few weeks, I tried to schedule a lunch with a colleague from a former company who was now at my new one. “I can put you down for January,” she responded. It was July!
My boss gave me an assignment to have lunch with 20 different people in my first 20 days. It was not easy since everyone else had their calendars booked well in advance.
This lunch culture went way back. The original building is a beautiful Neoclassical/Beaux Arts structure still in use today. It has two twin cafeterias on the same floor, exactly opposite one another.
A company historian explained to me that it was from long ago when men and women weren’t allowed to eat together.
There was a team of bakers who made incredible desserts for lunch and events like board meetings.
There was always a wide variety of dishes available, and if none met your fancy, cheeseburgers, and fries were available every day.
Like most things, lunch changed over time. As the bakers retired, they weren’t replaced, and now there aren’t any on staff.
The company became ‘health’ conscious, and the daily offering of cheeseburgers and fries disappeared. When they built a new building, there were no friers installed in the cafeteria.
The ‘health’ consciousness was most noticeable with the restriction of servings. Originally, you could have as much as you wanted and go back for seconds.
The change first became evident to me with pork potstickers. You knew I’d get back around to that eventually.
Potstickers were a treat, and I like to get six or eight.
“You can only have four,” I was told one day.
That was just the beginning. Potstickers eventually became an ‘entree’ by placing two on a microscopic bed of rice.
“Can I have four, please?”
Apparently not, because it was an entree, and the entree limit was two. And no, you couldn’t have ‘two’ entrees.
Every year, benefits disappeared. Company-funded social groups, outings, and computer allowance. The list went on.
Rumors swirled that the free lunch was going away.
Lines were drawn, and resignations threatened if the free lunch ever disappeared.
Then came the big announcement. Was this what we had all been dreading?
The pension was being eliminated and retroactively reduced.
“Well, at least they didn’t take away the free lunch,” some said, though not me.
Changes continued as the dress code relaxed. What had been a suit and tie environment was slowly changing to ‘dress for your day.’ Dress for your day being a guideline to dress appropriately for what you were working on.
In one of my final days, I passed someone in the hall dressed all in black whose ‘day’ from the markings on their shirt involved animal sacrifice at some point.
Sitting across from me at lunch was the new vice president.
It was like looking at myself 20 years earlier; his career paralleled mine right down to being a former Marine.
Our department had been eliminated, and he was tasked with creating a new one and integrating it into the company culture.
“Everything you need to accomplish, I’ve done at other companies and here in this unique culture. Would you like some help with that?”
“No, I got it,” he said, and we finished the conversation with small talk.
No small irony that my fate with the company was sealed at lunch. A day later, I accepted an early retirement package and never looked back.
That VP was gone in two years; they are still trying to create a new department.
Last night, we had potstickers for dinner. I enjoyed as many as I wanted.
Word of the Week
Syzygy: (n)
syz·y·gy /ˈsizijē/
The alignment or harmonious conjunction of contrasting or opposing elements.
Jungian usage and meaning, the connection of opposites
Proto-Indo-European root meaning "to join." Greek suzugia, from suzugos' yoked, paired’ with many root elements, the same as the root words for zygote. Zygote being the fusion of two cells into one.
This Word of Purpose explores the merging of our light and dark sides. Our shadows.
Our essence is a syzygy—the pairing together of shadow and light.
Author David Richo describes our shadow as “…that part of us that is incompatible with who we think we are supposed to” be.”
Ikiquest+
This week in Ikiquest+…I created this Coffee Meditations for Plus subscribers. A deeper dive into Shadow Work.
If you missed this one, I invite you to check it out, as there is some marvelous material for reflection.
Quote I’m Pondering
Let go of certainty. The opposite isn't uncertainty. It's openness, curiosity, and a willingness to embrace paradox rather than choose up sides. The ultimate challenge is to accept ourselves exactly as we are, but never stop trying to learn and grow.”
Tony Schwartz
Comment of the Week:
The comment this week comes from Aaron…
You compel the reader to dive deep into their subconscious and themselves through your excellent examples and anecdotes.
You encourage us to push beyond our mental limitations to make us consider what our purpose truly is.
Thank you for sharing your gifts in this way.
It is my hope and privilege, Aaron. Thank you!
Fun Thing I Saw This Week
My friend Steven Buehler and I had a conversation this week that prompted an unexpected exploration and led me to the Fun Thing This Week.
Steven posted on LinkedIn this past week about Melaine. If you don’t follow Steven, you should; he has a beautiful gratitude practice that he shares.
For those not old enough to remember, Melanie Safka is an American Folk Singer and songwriter.
She is best known for her fun hit ‘Brand New Key’, which I mentioned to Steven was my favorite Melaine song. He said it wasn’t his and shared Beautiful People with me.
This launched me on an unexpected journey of discovery about a beautiful singer with an even more beautiful love story.
Melaine was an accidental singer at Woodstock, which launched her to worldwide fame.
Her music is heartfelt and very 60s. What I found the most interesting for a famous performer of that era, she had a happy, lifelong marriage.
Her husband was a music producer who saw her perform, fell in love, and never left her side until his death in 2010.
She shares their captivating love story in this tribute.
Here is the video of Beautiful People. I hope it prompts you to discover the music of Melaine.
Final Thoughts
I came across an old photograph this week, and it prompted this final thought.
The photo (above) is from a trip to Seattle. I have a peculiar fondness for capturing the intricate designs of these often-overlooked manholes and utility covers.
The Olympic Foundry Company in Seattle crafted this particular one, and it immediately drew my attention for its design and surrounding brickwork.
In my quest for the perfect shot, I momentarily fell behind my group. This image was worth getting lost.
This particular picture speaks to something I admire in the Shaker philosophy.
Don’t make something unless it is both necessary and useful; but if it is both necessary and useful, don’t hesitate to make it beautiful.
Shaker Design Philosophy
Manhole covers are necessary and useful. Somewhere along the line, someone made the decision to make this one beautiful.
🌀Quest well
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Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald
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As soon as that VP is reply was "nope, I got it" I knew he was having your job for lunch.
Syzygy - might be my new favorite word. You know how I love paradoxes, so connection of opposites is really appealing. Easy to remember too, like synergy, except it's not things already pulling in the same direction.