To Be Nobody but Yourself
Fighting the hardest battle.
Audio narration by David Marlow
Sixth grade was an emotional disaster for me. My home life was in chaos as my mom was dating a man she would later marry who had a violent temper and was abusive.
There was always an argument or crisis just as an important event was coming up.
The night before our 7th grade placement test, I got almost no sleep. My mother had taken my younger brother and me to her boyfriend’s apartment and proceeded to have an argument with him until the wee hours of the morning.
I bombed the test and, as a result, was placed in the lowest 7th-grade class. It was quite the stigma, and my confidence went to zero.
About a month into the school year, my history teacher, Mrs. Thibedueax, took me aside and told me I had aced every test so far and that she thought I could always do well.
“You are smart enough that if you put in the effort, you could get an ‘A’ in every class.”
I had many wonderful teachers throughout my time in school and had always done well enough. I even had a few rare moments of brilliance.1
There was something extra about this. It wasn’t about simply doing well; she told me I could excel. I’d never tried to excel in school before.
It wasn’t long before I was working hard for an A in every class. The next year, she helped me get into some of the advanced classes I had missed out on because of my low placement score.
My entire view of myself and what school was about changed as a result of one teacher believing in me and helping me create a vision of what I could become.
Poet e e cummings liked to be different. He made that visibly obvious by how he preferred to type his name, all lowercase.
Much of cummings work deals with being the one-of-a-kind creation that each of us was meant to be. Here are three of his thoughts to ponder…
“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.”
“It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are.”
Being who you are at your essence represents a daily act of courage. For that, it seems there is a prerequisite…
"We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit."
What is it that gives us the freedom, comfort, and confidence to be our real selves?
Think of mentors, teachers, friends, or family members who saw the value and potential in you.
This external validation isn't just about praise; it's about someone recognizing our essence, inner worth, and possibilities within us. It's about them saying, "I see something valuable in you," which can be a transformative message.
Mrs. Thibedueax did that for me.
Was there someone in your life who revealed the innate value in you?
Is there someone you could help by believing in them?
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Thank you so much for sharing parts of your story David, in this post and your previous one. It. always takes a huge amount of courage to share. As you said in your previous post, we are all wounded and h
So glad you embraced the fight and won, David, though I also know that this is our battle every single day 🌿