Marlow's Musings 11/3/24
Comparison
Over the past few months, I’ve sprinkled something different in the Musing by sharing one of the Language of Purpose ideas.
Comparison is something I struggled with for much of my life. What I’ve written represents my own exploration of meaning and movement away from the Default Language to the Language of Purpose.
Words of Purpose come alive when spoken, and I encourage you to listen to the audio narration.
Now I invite you to explore another Language of Purpose…
audio narration by David Marlow
“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
Theodore Roosevelt
Definition.
comparison (n.)
A consideration or estimate of the similarities or dissimilarities between two things or people. Since the late 14c. comparison has meant the "act of putting two things together and regarding them as equal"
Disintegration.
When we compare and judge ourselves against others, we are putting two different things together and treating them as equals.
Our focus becomes more on what we don't have than what we do, on what we haven’t accomplished more than what we have.
We start adding in what I call the Forbidden Words1 like ‘should’, ‘have to’, and ‘ought.’
All of which leads to unhappiness and disintegration of self.
Comparison…
breeds unrealistic expectations
fuels negative self-image
breeds jealousy and resentment
distracts from our own purpose
steals joy from the present moment
Comparison becomes a ‘thief of joy’ fostering unrealistic expectations, damaging our self-image, fueling negative emotions, distracting us from our purpose, and preventing us from fully embracing the present moment.
Integration. 🌀
We are prone to compare ourselves to others in part because we have constant access and opportunities to compare ourselves to others through the media, social or otherwise.
On our Ikigai Journey, we need to give ourselves a bit of a break as we work through our inevitable mistakes and demonstrations of human imperfection.
We struggle with judgment because we compare our behind-the-scenes or outtakes with everyone else's edited highlight reel.
Remember, many people around you are mostly just drinking coffee and trying to act like they know what they're doing.
🌀 You only see their highlight reels.
Personal Application.
Apply these 7 approaches to lessening comparison in your life.
1. Awareness: Become conscious of comparing yourself to others. Pay attention to these thoughts and bring them to the forefront of your consciousness.
2. Pause and redirect: When you catch yourself comparing, take a moment to pause and shift your focus. Avoiding self-criticism quiets our thoughts and changes our perspective.
3. Appreciate your blessings: Instead of dwelling on what you lack, focus on what you already have. Count your blessings and feel gratitude for the people and things in your life.
4. Emphasize your strengths: Shift your attention to your strengths rather than fixating on your weaknesses. Celebrate and be proud of your unique qualities, using them to your advantage.
5. Embrace imperfection: I’m a recovering perfectionist myself. I get it. Our imperfections make us who we are. Embrace self-acceptance like the approach of the tree.2
6. Turn off judgment: Withhold judgment. Instead, offer support and encouragement to others, fostering positive relationships and personal growth for everyone.
7. Focus on the journey: Life is not a competition with others. Shift your focus from comparisons to your own journey, goals, and aspirations. Concentrate on what you want to achieve and where you want to go, irrespective of others' achievements.
Professional Application.
Business
The danger of comparison isn’t only limited to our personal lives. There is a danger in our businesses and careers as well.
Comparison in the world of business starts with conventional wisdom, industry standards, and best practices.
These benchmarks may provide a starting point. The risk is aiming for what everyone else in the industry is doing or has already achieved can stifle innovation and hinder exceptional performance.
It often leads to mediocrity. 3
Human nature tends to gravitate towards the familiar and conventional, which can hinder growth and innovation.
To overcome this tendency, businesses need a level of inspiration that goes beyond industry standards.
Striving for what others have already done or are currently doing does not fuel the motivation needed to achieve exceptional results.
Career
Living out one's unique purpose, or Ikigai is a powerful antidote to comparison in our careers as well.
Each individual has their own path and aspirations, and success lies in embracing these differences.
By aligning business endeavors with personal purpose, organizations can tap into the intrinsic motivation and passion of their team members, leading to exceptional performance and meaningful results.
🌀Reflection.
We set out that vision of an ideal state for ourselves it stretches us, drives us, and moves us forward.
Comparing ourselves with others or seeking the path of the conventional, the known leads to mediocre results and the disintegration of our true selves.
What small step could you take today to move past comparison in your life?
Remember: No matter what has come before, today is a fresh start. 🌱
Let’s make things a little bit better. 🌱
This might be your most impactful Musing’s yet! I re-read it 3 times.
Ahhh David, a reprise of "the tree"! One of my favorite articles, and a well-timed reminder for me. It really underscores the messages in this Musing. Much to reflect on here.